Will Iran Be A No-Show In Geneva? McCain's Homo Experience

Maureen Dowd
Robert Kaplan
Howard Kurtz

"A 19-year-old Somali man was arrested in Portland for allegedly planning to detonate a bomb at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony. His parents are devastated. He had such a promising career as a pirate." – Jay Leno

"WikiLeaks shows our allies are also funding the terrorists. So we’re like the commissionless middlemen in a war we’re waging against ourselves." – Jon Stewart

"The head of WikiLeaks, Julian Assange, has gone into hiding. They say he's some place all alone where no one can find him. In fact, officials believe he may be hiding in a theater showing 'Burlesque.'" – Jay Leno

Now that we have realized that the 250,000 pages of diplomatic documents released by Wikileaks have no real importance than to illustrate how lower-level employees file their opinions, it's interesting to see which world leaders are still getting their panties in a bunch... The more emotionally false, arrogant ones like Putin and Karzai take offense. Whoa dudes, wait until the next level of documents get released and the world sees even more what kinds of douche bags you are, no wonder now that Hillary Clinton is having a good laugh in private - without any aides writing down what she says, of course. The information contained in the documents aren't anything earthshaking enough to change relationships between countries, most of it has already been reported as speculation, like China hiring a bunch of its hackers to get information from american networks. In response to that , China arrested 646 of its hackers, so they wouldn't go public with more their personal parts in the nefarious plans...

This week the UN committee on nuclear energy is meeting in Geneva, to talk about Iran's program. The games have already begun, with the new head of the committee claiming that Iran is not being cooperative with the UN inspectors, who want to see if Iran's recent claims about progress is true. Iran is saying that it won't discuss its enrichment program, that its intentions in attending the meeting is to point out the benefits of a nuclear Iran, to the world's energy problems and stability in the Middle East... All of the big boys: the US, France, Britain, Germany, China, and Russia is hoping to persuade Iran to rejoin the world community in a diplomatic way. Egypt says if that doesn't work, it wants to put in orders for some nuclear plants to be built in Egypt, signaling a possible nuclear race among Middle Eastern countries. Economically, this would help Germany, France, and South Korea, who already have some kind of contract in place with the UAE and Saudi Arabia.

The two differing viewpoints are illustrated by what Ahmadinejad said on state-run tv, and Hillary's response: "We are ready to negotiate but... (world powers) should acknowledge that the rights of the Iranian nation are non-negotiable. They should also stop being hostile," said Ahmadinejad. Included in those hostilities are the murdering of Iran's nuclear scientists. Hillary responded in a speech in Bahrain: "We hope that you will come to it, as we will, in good faith and prepared to engage constructively on your nuclear programme." Clinton acknowledged that Iran has "the right to a peaceful nuclear programme," but said Tehran must fully address the world's concerns about its atomic activities." Tehran then tried to calm the fears of its neighbors by sending personal notes saying that it doesn't have designs on the region, but just wants to be a good neighbor, if only you'll let them...

This morning Iran announced that it has processed the first batch of raw uranium into yellowcake, and is now in control of the whole fuel-making process. Hillary has yet to respond to this nugget of information, but the prognosis for Geneva doesn't look good. China seems to have the most pragmatic goal, it will be happy if the parties agree to meet again... Who knows, if Iran can prove to its Sunni neighbors that it doesn't want to establish a Shiite hegemony, that it won't take over and invade Iraq within the next five years, that it will stop sending over suicide bomb vests and other munitions into Pakistan and Afghanistan, that it will finally give up the spot where Osama bin Laden is hiding, then maybe the US and Russia might be convinced, too. Until then, a game of Stuxnet anyone?


The wikileak backlash wave has been organized and launched, and it will end up playing havoc with some of our institutions and personal freedoms, what little there are that's left. First, the US intelligence service used its hackers to find out where wikileaks keeps its servers, and successfully pressured companies like Amazon and Paypal to kick wikileaks off of their servers and no longer accept their business. Next, all government employees and members of the military have been ordered not to link to wikileaks, or else. The implied threat is being tried for treason, if the justice dept ever figures out a way to bring any charges against wikileaks. Students at colleges like Columbia have been told that if they ever hope to have a job in the govt, then do not link to wikileaks. And if you have ever linked to wikileaks.org, it's possible that you might be getting a threatening e-mail sometime soon, for what it's worth...

Paranoia strikes deep.

Into your life it will creep.

It starts when you're always afraid.

Step out of line, the MAN come and take you away.

It's time we stop.

Hey, what's that sound?

Everybody look what's goin' down.

The more stubborn and erratic that Sen John McCain's behavior gets in opposition to repealing the DADT policy about gays serving in the military, the happier I am that I didn't vote for him as President. He makes me look positively cheerful, even his best friend, Joe Lieberman, has taken him to task during the recent congressional hearing. DADT was a taboo subject at the McCain house this thanksgiving, with both mom and daughters supporting the repeal.

The more irrational he gets makes me think that my former assessment of his behavior is correct, and it means that the man should go and see a therapist. It's not just the men of his generation's blind fear of all things homo, that some guy will try to cornhole you while under stress in some foxhole, or to admit to even seeing another man's penis is an admission that you aren't all macho that you can be...

I believe that John McCain's fears run deeper, because while he was incarcerated as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam, he had homosexual experiences to relieve suppressed sexual tension, much like men in our prison system do because they have few options available to them. I believe that John McCain has repressed these memories, more so because they contain torture and elements of cruelty; and the fear of having to revisit them makes him stubborn and a little batshit. It also means that he will no go gently into that good night, ever become reasonable on the subject, and the only way he will change his mind is if he experiences a huge meltdown in public, some kind of temper tantrum in front of the television cameras.