Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Middle-Eastern Update, Babysitting Doggies

Eugene Robinson
Andrew Bacevich
"The United States was able to find and kill Osama bin Laden because of a tip from one of his wives. When she saw a picture of his body, she said, 'Now who can't drive the car?'" – Conan O'Brien
"They have just released another posthumous Osama bin Laden video. If you listen carefully you can hear his last words: 'Will somebody please answer the damn door!'" – David Letterman
"You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger calls a quickie? A Minute Maid." – Jay Leno
Jay Leno on Sarah Palin:
"Sarah Palin may run for President. Doesn’t that thought make you nostalgic for last week when you only thought the world was going to end?" – Jay Leno

"This weekend Sarah Palin begins a nationwide bus tour, which I think is a good way for her to learn the names of all the states." – Jay Leno

"I think Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin would be the perfect ticket. She can’t answer basic questions, and he has two answers for every question." – Jay Leno

Sources have "revealed" to me that Sarah Palin's bus tour was the result of the bus's maker and the Palin's - the bus is free if they drive around in it for a few months. Here everyone thought that it had to do with politics or driving her speaker's fees back up... And the fact that the Palins bought a house in Scottsdale, Arizona may mean that they are tired of spending winters in the snow, I certainly join them in that... It will remain to be seen if they spend their time there as a couple, or if Sarah will use it for her "alone" time, or if she ends up babysitting for Bristol a lot...

I spent my Memorial Day weekend reading some books and babysitting my sister's three dogs while she and her husband travel to Austin for her oldest grandchild's high school graduation. Two chihuahuas are rescue animals, and a Brussels Gryphon, which was originally bred as a coach dog... Every afternoon and early evening we get together and howl because their owners are gone, then we curl up together on the couch. I knew that cats can sleep up to 20 hours per day, but hadn't realized that dogs sleep a lot, too. Maybe because I'm so boring...

The border crossing at Rafah, from the Gaza strip into Egypt was opened up on Saturday. Most of the traffic was from Palestine, going towards Cairo and beyond, many will attempt to migrate to another country. So far, Israel has kept fairly quiet about it, probably because the crossing is just letting individuals across it, trucks containing goods still are subject to the same amount if red tape, if they are allowed at all. Israel may insist that Egypt also takes responsibility in patrolling and policing the Gaza strip, until the next elections in Palestine, which may well throw out both Fatah and Hamas for some younger coalition... Or things could easily spiral out of control the other way. Hamas has stockpiled over 10,000 missiles, which mostly were smuggled through the old tunnels under the Rafah border crossing, Egypt has voided a natural gas contract with Israel, and a mysterious bomb has gone off in a Hamas training camp. Perhaps some kind of war may soon escalate; I think that Netanyahu sees this as a good solution to his Palestinian state problems. He also has secretly made a pact with the Saudis to help each other if either one has to attack Iran...

Syria is going to declare an official victory over its protesters, after having killed over 1200 Syrians and chased the remaining opposition organizers into West European countries. Nothing left to do but knock on doors at night...

Even though Moammar Qaddafi is still refusing to leave Libya, it may only be a short matter of time. Je is like Egypt's Hosni Mubarak, under the spell that his people loved every little hardship he caused them, that his torturing citizens was merely a patriarchal form of tough love, and there is no reason that he can't stay in the land he loves until he dies of old age... If the borders of Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, and Gaza become porous, it may develop into one large nation-state, which could be good for them commercial-wise, and help to turn their economies around... Unfortunately, it will be a long, hot Summer for these countries, as there is still a drought throughout most of the Middle East and North Africa. The Arab Spring protests originally began over the lack of jobs and rising food prices. With the current unrest, there are less jobs than before, and until the practice of commodity futures is stopped on a global scale, the cost of food staples will continue to rise until not even the UN will be able to afford cooking oil...

Circling in the desert sands like landsharks are the Iranians. Yes, it seems that they have made some sort of pact with the devil, and are waiting and watching for a surgical entry into the strife. They already have gotten Syria's government believing that harsh tactics are justified on its civilians, they are poised to help the Shia in Bahrain, and they continue to make the bombs and suicide vests that are so popular in Iraq and Afghanistan right now. In fact, the bombings in Iraq make no sense unless you figure that the Iranians are trying to disrupt society as much as they can without invading. One week a bomb goes off in Kurdistan, another time one will go off in a Sunni neighborhood, while last week one exploded in a Shia neighborhood devoted to Muktada al Sadr. They are doing more than just fucking with the iraqis heads...

Yet, Iran has its own problems that it doesn't want anyone to know about. There is the feud between former sweethearts, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Grand Ayatollah Khamenei. Remember when the Ayatollah backed the election of Ahmadinejad, declared it legitimate enough for him and Mahmoud was The Man! Now, they are fighting in public, with Mahmoud pouting and throwing tantrums that last for days... Then, there are the computer viruses and the roving bands of saboteurs in southern Iran, who damage the oil and natural gas pipelines, putting the refineries offline for days at a time. They probably sneak in from the two Israeli submarines stationed off the coast of Iran...

OK, that's the mid-east update, tomorrow we'll talk about those crazy Russians and their satellite states, which now resemble cellulite states after their bloated and wrinkly leadership... Cheers, I have to go and get those damned barking dogs...


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