"Michele Bachmann says that if she's elected, she'll ban pornography. We have multiple wars, skyrocketing debts, a recession, unemployment . . . Yeah, let's ban pornography." –David Letterman
"Michele Bachmann and her husband run this institution where they try to 'pray away the gay.' They want gay guys to think outside the bun." –Jay Leno
"Hitler's birthplace in Austria has revoked his honorary citizenship. Talk about a rush to judgment." –Jay Leno
“Marcus Bachmann is an Izod shirt away from being the gay character on Modern Family.”
First the Germans, and now the Japanese are vowing to wean themselves off of nuclear energy, perhaps they are creating a new axis of alternative power... Over 5.5 million people in England already spend over 10% of their income on heating fuel, and it goes up every year. We don't keep these kinds of statistics here, we might be embarrassed to learn how many of our old folks freeze to death each year because they can't afford to buy any heating oil...
"A lawmaker in California is pushing for 13 counties to break away and form a new state called South California. Meanwhile, residents are pushing for a more fitting name: 'North Mexico.'" –Jimmy FallonA conservative state congressman from California has recently proposed to cutting the state in half. His agenda is to have the counties that are more rural and have the most tea party sympathizers collect in South California, while the rest of the state can go to Hell... It reminds me of a car commercial that Honda made for its Northern California market. The legislature wanted to divide California in the commercial also, with the Southern California contingent whining that the roads in Northern California were "too windy." Back in the '70's, whenever someone commented on breaking up the state, it was suggested that we wait and let the "big one," do the work for us, with the big one referencing the next big earthquake that would make half of the state fall into the Pacific Ocean... Jay Leno said that the new Northern California's main crop would be marijuana, while the new South California's main cash maker would be crystal meth...