"Sarah Palin has canceled the rest of her bus trip around America. She had to quit before she got to Mount Rushmore and somebody asked her to name the Presidents.” – Jay Leno
"Earlier tonight President Obama gave his speech about Afghanistan. He's starting a new phase in the military campaign called operation reelection." – Jay Leno
“New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English." – David Letterman
"Most Americans know Jon Huntsman as 'the candidate most Americans don't know.' Gov. Huntsman's announcement puts him somewhere between Ron Paul and Count Chocula as the favorite to win the GOP nomination." –Jimmy Kimmel
Kinda nice? I thought of it after making a hard-on joke about John Boehner and the pronounciation of his last name. Poor Boehner, just your average, midwestern alcoholic. Soon the stories of his boorish behavior will make their way from being whispered in Washington, to being published on TMZ:
And if we wanted to name the incoming group of freshman tea party Congressmen, we might call them Newtcomers, or if you are in the porn industry, Newtcummers... Michele Bachmann could be considered an honorable one, as much as she's trying to suck up to the tea party folks, whomever they are. She is making speeches in Iowa right now, with the message being, "I'm not really a big flake..." Michele is trying so hard to appear normal to midwestern voters that she is going into:
Who knows, maybe Sarah will go next to Texas, and help governor Rick Perry fight the gossip going around that he's actually GAY...
Welcome to the next ponzi scheme, where a fool and their life savings are soon parted. It turns out that most wells that actually turn up natural gas go bust after a year or two, leaving the company that drilled the well in debt. Less than 10% of proposed wells turn up any natural gas at all, because the gas companies don't have to test drill to determine if there's any gas in the area, they get to make guesses and computer models based on those guesses, and then present those "facts" to investors. Even when fracking used to be used only on water wells to improve the amount and flow of well water, the process of fracking never guaranteed to work. Only after the process was all done could you tell if it had produced any more water. And now they are using this to obtain natural gas...
So fracking for natural gas will be one of the next scandals you will be reading about, the NY Times has done a couple of articles based on emails they obtained from industry leaders and government employees. Hopefully, we will have investigated more about this myth and mirage of an industry. In industry speak: " One senior Energy Information Administration official describes an “irrational exuberance” around shale gas. An internal Energy Information Administration document says companies have exaggerated “the appearance of shale gas well profitability,” are highlighting the performance of only their best wells and may be using overly optimistic models for projecting the wells’ productivity over the next several decades."
“The potential for natural gas is enormous,” - President Obama
“It is quite likely that many of these companies will go bankrupt,” - a senior adviser to the Energy Information Administration
“Am I just totally crazy, or does it seem like everyone and their mothers are endorsing shale gas without getting a really good understanding of the economics at the business level?” - an energy analyst