Vladimir Cries, Rush Apologizes, Sort Of...

“The Romney campaign says they can't figure out why the people of Michigan aren't embracing their native son. Hmmm, let's see. Could it be this editorial he wrote four years ago: ‘Let Detroit go bankrupt’?” – Craig Ferguson

“That shows Romney had the vision to put his foot in his mouth years before his competitors.” – Craig Ferguson

“It's nothing compared to the piece Romney wrote last week for The Arizona Republic: ‘Accept your new Mexican overlords.’” – Craig Ferguson

I'm not sure that all of the election polls had closed in Russia, before Vladimir Putin gave his tearful victory speech. "You love me, you really love me!" he gushed as he was handed a bouquet of red roses and the tiara was placed upon his head... If you thought the US elections had turned bizarre, then the Russian presidential election is for true cynics and fans of Alice in Wonderland set in constant tape loop of the scenes with the Red Queen, minus Alice...

Is there much difference between Putin's party and the Republicans (or insert your favorite villains here ______), who decided months ago, in back room meetings, whom the candidates would be, and then hired some sad clowns to run as the opposition? Now the only thing yet to be decided is how big was Putin's landslide victory? Needless to say, the Russian model of democracy is also the template for the Iranian elections, except they throw in a religious twist, with the Grand Ayatollah for Life... Some of the Russian opposition are afraid that Vlad is setting himself up as ruler for life, but he denies it. He has already made his fortune by privatizing Russia's largest petroleum industries and guaranteeing that he has a permanent skim of the profits; and he has already hunted down every varmint that can run, hop, fly, or swim away from him walking topless through the trees... so more interesting is to see which invisible young bureaucrat he will anoint as his successor... As Sergei Kruschev, the son of Nikita Kruschev pontificates:

"In Russia, the exiting regime for some reason considers itself not only responsible for its successors, but it also believes it has the right to determine whether they are worthy of coming to power or not. The task of handing over control of the government proved too tough for both the communist Bolsheviks, who dissolved the disagreeable Russian Constituent Assembly in January 1918, and for the anti-communist Bolsheviks who did the same with the "bad" Russian Parliament in October 1993. Mikhail Gorbachev alone decided to follow through with his transition, and many have not forgotten what came of that."

In an editorial in today's NY Times, Sheena Greitens says that if North Korea wishes to rejoin the world community, then it will have to give up its state-sponsored drug trade. North Korea manufactures heroin, methamphetamines, fake Viagra, and high quality counterfeit American $100 bills. They also deal in endangered species and parts of them, like elephant tusks, and smuggle in American cigarettes and alcohol into Asia. They relegate the distribution of their drugs to groups like the Russian mafiya, Japanese Yakuza, and Chinese triads... Nobody really has yet explored if there have been any connections with South American gangs, even though they are the competition...

This has been how North Korea obtained money despite the economic sanctions against it, and may soon spur Iran into similar illicit action. There already have been some repercussions: North Korea has a growing sector of people addicted to speed, and Iran is having problems with heroin addiction (they allow passage of the heroin trade from Afghanistan...) The US is used for money laundering, its estimated that at least 1/4 of all bank assets comes from the drug trade, even though all banks are supposed to report all transactions over $10,000. The fake $100's came directly from Pyongyang to California, and were rumored to have been so good that the Treasury Dept had to redesign a new bill... North Korea would try to sell nuclear secrets to rogue nation states, but its technology is so shaky and poor, that nobody will buy from them. Not when there are countries with more updated equipment that would gladly make some extra bucks, like Russia, India, Pakistan, and France...

Speaking about joking in bad taste, ol' Rush Limbaugh got into a tussle over a 30 year old law school student over women's contraception. She had wanted to speak before a congressional committee, composed of all old dudes, and was told by the chairman, Darryl Issa, that she was not qualified or welcome... A lot of woman's groups got pissed, the Democrats made sure that the bill was shelved, and an anti-abortion bill was also shelved by the governor of Virginia, as was a personhood amendment.

In order to stir up some ratings, Rush began a diatribe against this woman, Sandra Fluke. He called her a prostitute and a slut, and said that she obviously wanted sex a lot. The next day said that if he's going to pay for her contraception, she should film her sex acts and post them online so he could watch them... Rush thinks he's being funny, but he's actually revealing that he gets his rocks off watching Internet porn, and seems obsessed by it. as any ex-pill junky might be. Here's a sample from his friday show, talking about the Democrat's reaction to his comments: "Yeah, I know. Snerdley, I told you, "This is gonna be bigger than the phony soldiers," and he didn't think it was. I said, "Oh, it's gonna be ten times bigger. This is gonna be ten times bigger than the phony soldiers, ten times bigger than the Michael J. Fox thing, 'cause the Democrats are desperate." The Democrats are desperate, and I don’t know why they want people... Well, I do know why they want people to fear me. This is all they've got, is to go out and try to discredit their critics, to impugn and discredit the people who disagree with them. Because there's no way, if we actually sat down and had a debate about this proposition, anybody on the left can win this. Not in a sane world where there is common sense.

Apparently Sandra Fluke told Obama something. When he asked her if she's okay, she said that Obama told her that she should tell her parents they should be proud. (pause) Okay, I'm button my lip on that one. The president tells Sandra Fluke (chuckling), 30-year-old Sandra Fluke, that her parents should be proud. Okay. Let me ask you a question. I might be surprised at the answer I would get to this question. Your daughter appears before a congressional committee and says she's having so much sex, she can't pay for it and wants a new welfare program to pay for it. Would you be proud? I don't know about you, but I'd be embarrassed. I'd disconnect the phone. I'd go into hiding and hope the media didn't find me. See, everybody forgets what starts this, or what started this whole thing. Or maybe they don't! Maybe that's normal behavior on the left now, for all I know."

After this was broadcast, about six of his sponsors called and said that they were going to stop supporting his show and pull their advertisements, including one of his oldest sponsor, Carbonite... So, on Saturdau Rush printed an apology, of sorts. This is as close as Rush can get to an apology, your choice to decide if he means it or not:

"I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit? In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.


My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices."

So to really change things, I guess you have to follow the money... If Rush ever had daughters you know that he'd never be talking smack like that, like. c'mon dude, that's sooo gross...