Monday, April 16, 2012

North Korea Throws A Party, Pakistani Jailbreak!

"Because Mitt Romney is a Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents. Did you know that?" – David Letterman
"After dropping out of the GOP race, Rick Santorum emailed his supporters to ask for help paying off his campaign debt. So if you believe in his message of responsible spending and no handouts, just give him a handout to cover all his irresponsible spending." – Jimmy Fallon

"Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal announced that he is supporting Mitt Romney for president. Jindal said he couldn’t think of a better way to show his support than waiting until Romney was the only guy left." – Jimmy Fallon

"Florida congressman Allen West made an interesting statement yesterday. He believes there are about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party who are members of the Communist Party. Really? I think it's time for someone to lay off the Tom Clancy novels." – Jimmy Kimmel
“This presidential campaign makes me want to start doing drugs.” - unaffiliated Republican consultant

Happy Birthday North Korea! Your leaders couldn't afford to make enough cake for everyone, so you got another military parade, instead... It was supposed to be a glorious celebration of the birthday of Kim il-Sun, the dictator who cemented his rule by instituting the official paranoia that the US wanted to permanently invade the country, legitimizing starving the peasants in favor of  large military expenditures. Hey, they were only pretending to be China's Mini-Me...

Instead of candles or fireworks, a wondrous long-range ballistic missile was launched, which, unfortunately for the greater glory of Kim's grandson and said military, the damned thing fell apart after two minutes and fell into the ocean. This was the third missile launch in a row that fizzled and failed, so the best thing to do was to act as if it had never happened. In the case of the first two missile launches, North Korea insisted that they had been successes, and are orbiting satellites that broadcast patriotic songs to Kim Jong-il to this day. It's as if they have hired Republican strategists to form their official policies...

To show the world how much they've changed under the new rule of the Little Prince, journalists were invited to witness this launch. Since the US had declined to have any members of the State Dept there, it frowned on having any of our journalists attending. Tough, said MSNBC... Unfortunately, communication lines had to be established out of the country, and when the news organizations back home began asking if it were true that the missile fell apart, the news came as a shock to their North Korean handlers, who all but abandoned them in a blind panic until hours later.

It was decided that the best way to handle this potential fiasco was to ignore it, act as if it never happened, offer to take the journalists to a sporting event or cultural display to complete their tour. In his speech yesterday, Kim Jong-un also ignored the missile failure, instead kept to his prepared speech of supporting the military and continuing to build it up in might and strength. The emphasis on nuclear and missile development is because the North Koreans don't have much else to sell on the world market, and they were at least hoping to sell copies of their latest missile to Iran, which wisely didn't put in any pre-orders. On the other hand, it could be that the missile launch was sabotaged so that everyone will feel sorry for those cute lil' screw ups, send them food and ipods, maybe schedule a hot concert for them by Beyonce or an Elvis impersonator... More important, is the realization for any nation ordering military munitions from the North Korean catalogue, is that a parade and blustery speech is all you can expect as backup, if things go wrong and do not work as advertised...


To celebrate the new negotiations between the US and Pakistan, with Pakistan insisting that US drones and the CIA mercenaries stay out of their country, the Pakistani Taliban mounted the largest jailbreak in that country's history. Over 100 Talibanese freed 384 prisoners at the largest prisons, perhaps showing what Paper Tigesr the police and military really are... Most of the escapees are thought to have gone to North Waziristan, leading me to ask just who is going to have to feed and clothe over 300 new members? Does this mean that the opium harvests went well this year? Or will the Pakistani government now reverse itself and ask the US to please send in some more drones into North Waziristan? And how do we really know it was the Taliban who freed those prisoners? How do we know if it wasn't a bunch of CIA mercenaries that freed them, therby insuring that they'd have jobs for the next few years, roaming through the tribal areas and playing whack-a-mole?

Part of the US's problem, is that there are elements that don't want our wars to end, mostly those that benefit from the Pentagon's war budget. If we pull out of Afghanistan, take our drones back out of Yemen and Somalia, where else will we be able to deploy them, except on ourselves? Should we let the states of Arizona or Florida develop a drone of their own, as the redneck solution to the immigration problem and racial profiling? It's bad enough that each year, more returning servicemen commit suicide than have lost their lives in  Iraq and Afghanistan...



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