Friday, April 6, 2012

Poking At The Patriarch And The Pope

“Recently at the White House, President Obama admitted he's a Trekkie. Although Trekkies say he doesn't qualify because he has a wife and a job.” – Conan O’Brien

“Last night Mitt Romney went three for three by winning the primaries in Maryland, Wisconsin, and Washington, D.C. Not to be outdone, Rick Santorum went three for three by offending women, atheists, and Latinos.” – Jimmy Fallon

“There is a strange new law making its way through the Arizona Legislature that would make it illegal to post negative comments on the Internet. The penalty for annoying or offending someone is up to six months in jail. That is good. They're always saying the prisons aren't full enough.” – Jimmy Kimmel

One of the most popular e-mailed stories reported in the New York Times today, deals with greed and corruption and the head of the Russian Orthodox Church. It's so lame and in-your-face that you might think that they hired Karl Rove to create the denials.

"Editors doctored a photograph on the church’s Web site of the leader, Patriarch Kirill I, extending a black sleeve where there once appeared to be a Breguet timepiece worth at least $30,000. The church might have gotten away with the ruse if it had not failed to also erase the watch’s reflection, which appeared in the photo on the highly glossed table where the patriarch was seated."

Bloggers had caught the mistake and ridiculed the church, so much that it issued an apology and restored the wristwatch. Unfortunately, before the apology was issued, the Patriarch himself, gave an interview to a  journalist known for sucking up to the Kremlin, and said that it must be some form of hijinks, because he's never worn such an expensive watch, ever, ever, in his whole life. But, yes, it seems that he did, indeed own one...

The Russian Orthodox Church has been squirming itself back into the average citizen's life, now claiming influence in health care, education and politics. The patriarch publicly supported Vladimir Putin during the last election, and bloggers have been publishing rumors that he also owns a country house, a yacht, and like to take skiing trips to Switzerland. When asked, the Patriarch denied it all, saying that he was just rehearsing for the church's latest production of Patriarchs On Ice, coming to an arena near you soon... It's going to take awhile for the Russian Orthodoxes to plunder and hoard away enough wealth to once again rival the Catholic Church, but it seems that they are right on track...

Not to be outdone in the craven department, the Pope lashed out at his fellow priests, showing how he earned the nickname "God's Rottweiler." I only know him as the Nazi Pope, because of his membership in a World War 11 era German youth group... Anyway, the Pope is displeased that there are priests out there who are wont to disobey his wishes, and continue to advocate ordaining women and ending celibacy for priests.

These radical ideas have been spread around by an Austrian group called the Preacher's Initiative, who also would like the Holy Communion to be given to divorced Catholics who have remarried without an annulment and who drive hybrid cars. The group has been endorsed by over 400 priests, and the Vatican fears that it could cause a schism within the church... Right now its merely causing a mere sense of alienation, difference, disagreement, discord, dissension, disunion, division, divorce, faction, fissure, fracture, gap, parting, rift, rupture within the church... In no uncertain terms, the Pope, speaking while sitting on a golden throne, said that these priests, instead of being driven by their own preferences and ideas, should instead turn to a "radicalism of obedience."

Either the Pope doesn't want to be questioned about these ideas, or he really wants to keep the child molesters in the closet, doesn't want them to stalk young boys in the light of day, even if ending celibacy would either contribute more to that situation or help alleviate it... Needless to say, I am neither a Catholic nor Russian Orthodox...


  1. Glad you are not heard outside of Colorado. It would be good were you not to be heard IN Colorado either.

    In your favor, however, is that you at at least
    have the integrity to allow anonymous comments.
    For that, I thank you.

    While I can see censorship of over the top comments on a blog, since you are its owner, I do not agree with blogs that do not allow such anonymity. I try to avoid such blogs even when they are "cut from the same cloth" as my own

  2. Sure, I allow anonymous comments for pussies who don't have the guts to sign their own names...


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